Why Go Bobbin For Apples When Ya Can Go Bobbin?
by SLYSWN
Summary: ""Idiot why didn't you tell me we were having company? I would've blown off work and come home to play houseguest."."    HALLOWEEN THEME MINI COLLECTION #1 GrimmIchi #2 SzaRen #3 RukiHime, others   AU  HIATUS OVER...SERIES NOW COMPLETE. YAY!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I wish I was Kubo-sensei but I'm not nor will I ever be. Such is the life of a simple fan girl.**

**A/N **Welcome to yet another collection…well you can look it that way or you can see it for what it really is…shots that are interconnected with each other. But since I love him best the number 1 orange berry is up first, then the tattooed pineapple redhead and finally the raven-haired beauty. Better known as Ichigo, Renji and Rukia.

**Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, language, spelling, grammar, punctuation, interconnected one-shots, sprinkles of lime.**

For Ane-chan because her love for this pairing never wavers.

**HALLOWEEN!THEME**

Why Go Bobbin' For Apples When Ya Can Go Bobbin' For Berries, Pineapples and Ravens?

**GrimmjowxIchigo**

#1 Trick or Thief?

The orange haired teen did not appreciate the damn sunshine practically blinding him-did not appreciate the way his wrists and ankles throbbed as he moved to half stand. And he damn sure did not appreciate white and sticky substances clinging to his body.

Waking up in the back of a van and naked as the day he was born was not an every day occurrence for Kurosaki Ichigo.

As the orange haired teen searched the vehicle for his clothes he recounted the events that had led him to this moment.

**()()**

Instead of roaming the town with a pretty girl on his arm or attending a costume party with his friends on Halloween night Ichigo is found in a café with a novel in hand and caramel candy apple lollipop in his mouth.

The café is quiet. Not a single soul is stirring aside from the owner but even he is off in one of the backrooms watching old fashioned horror films, a Kleenex box next to him and no doubt bawling his eyes out like a little girl.

The guy had asked Ichigo to join him but the orange haired teen had declined.

()~()

"_Thanks Urahara but I've never cared much for Zombies or werewolves."_

_The man seemed rather disappointed but rather than whine or protest he presented Ichigo with a large bag of lollipops. _

"_What's this?"_

_Urahara grinned, "It's Halloween and you're not out trick or treating so I brought the treat to you."_

_Ichigo snorted but accepted the bag of candy. "Thanks I'll only stick around for like another hour or so and then I'll head back home."_

_Urahara waved away his concerns. "Don't even worry about it we're practically family now whether your father chooses to admit it or not."_

_Ichigo really rather not think about the "connection" between Urahara and goat face. He was still pretty angry that both men had held their wedding reception on his late mother's gravestone._

_And when goat face had refused to tell Ichigo how he had originally gotten together with Urahara in the first place it only angered the teen further. _

_In truth Ichigo had nothing against his father falling for someone else (be it man or woman) in order to ease the heartache but he would have preferred it if Isshin had picked someone else._

_Urahara Kisuke had been his father's friend for many years-Ichigo hated to think that his father had cheated on his mother at any point when she had still been alive-Ichigo wanted to believe that goat face was better than that but still he had his doubts from time to time._

_Of course the partial blame for said doubts could go to one Ishida Ryuken._

_Ichigo shook his head-he really rather not think about how his caretaker might as well have been a grade A Candy Boy in the past-not that goat face had whored himself out to other men exactly but pretty close-_

_Ichigo shook his head more firmly._

_He felt Urahara give his shoulder a tight squeeze and shortly after this the man disappeared in the back room._

_()~()_

There was nothing outstanding or spectacular about the novel Ichigo was currently reading but the dialogue had sort of a-or rather the author who was speaking had a rather cynical take on the whole Halloween tradition, obsession, history and what not.

450 pages worth of rambling with bits and pieces of what might actually be considered a story of some sort-

Sounds coming from the outside pulled Ichigo attention away from his book and to the window.

At first it looks like some punks were hanging around in the parking lot-no doubt planning to 'decorate' the café with eggs, toilet paper and graffiti.

But then Ichigo sees the two figures dressed in black making their way towards his late mother's prized vehicle which he had inherited in Masaki's will.

He concludes that the duo probably will not just take it for a simple test drive. There is a slight possibility that they might be drunk and believe that the vehicle belongs to them but if that was the case why wear the facemasks and gloves?

Obviously the punks out there are car thieves.

One is clearly a female for there is no way to mistake that large rack-not to mention the black material is clinging to her like a second skin.

The second is a male-something about the stance-in addition very few women are 6'1-

Ichigo snorts. '_Probably some jackass looking to impress his girlfriend.'_

The female is making gestures with her hands now-and then a moment later both figures disappear from view.

And Ichigo almost thinks that the over-hyped holiday is messing with his mind because there's no way two solid figures could just vanish in thin air.

()

There is a tap on the window-thief number 2 has pressed his face against the glass-the way the thin fabric is stretching over his face leaves Ichigo to conclude that the guy must surely be grinning at him.

Hoping for some sort of reaction?

'_Too damn bad I'm not giving him one.'_

The thief cocks his head to the side and Ichigo almost thinks that the guy is playing with him now.

He looks away from the window and towards the backroom-the television is still blaring loudly and he can he hear the faint sound of sniffling which means Urahara hasn't even noticed all of the commotion.

The thief is tapping on the window again demanding Ichigo's attention.

The orange haired teen turns to find said thief now doing some sort of obscene gyrating movements-and the pathetic excuse for fabric does little to hide the fact that the thief has quite an impressive almost eye bulging package-not that Ichigo was looking or anything.

Ichigo shifts his attention to the second thief at the sound of an engine running-the bitch actually had the audacity to hotwire the vehicle right in front of him!

Wasting no more time Ichigo runs out of the café and fully intended to protect his car-key word here being intended-

For there was little the orange haired youth could do as strong arms wrap around his body and hold him in place.

Ichigo was not scrawny by any stretch and with a few well- practiced and semi-calculated moves he could break the hold.

If only it didn't feel so damn good to have a hard, muscular chest pressing into his back-if only it didn't feel so damn good to have the guys' breath near his ear-a humming sound issuing from out of his lips.

As one arm slowly releases it's hold on the orange haired teen Ichigo thinks it will be the perfect opportunity to break the hold but he quickly finds that his efforts to break free are pointless-one arm is gripping him so tightly now he could almost swear if he made one wrong move a bone or two would crack.

Quickly concluding that the thief must have used his free hand in order to remove his mask.

"When they told me you blew off my Halloween party so you could spend a quiet evening alone with your nose buried in a leather bound books I didn't believe it-told them that there was no way my favorite strawberry would miss the greatest bash of the season but then 8, 9, 10 o clock rolled around and it turned out they were right."

A pause

"At first I was just going to track you down, scoop you up and drag you back to my den but then my dearest cousin came up with a different plan-I'm sure you've met her right? Large rack, gray eyes, streaks of purple and pink hair dye in her long auburn locks, silver nose ring, has a habit of cornering petite little ravens?"

Ichigo felt like slapping himself in the forehead.

The abs alone should have been a dead give away.

"Grimmjow?"

What the hell was his not quite friend/not quite enemy doing loitering around in a café parking lot when he should be getting blazed up or shit-faced or whatever he usually enjoyed doing on the 31st of October?

"The one and only although I'm not gonna lie there are quite a few posers out there who dream of being me."

Ichigo felt like punching the guy and why?

Because it would be an ideal cover up and that way Grimmjow wouldn't discover that Ichigo was getting a little er um excited right now.

The orange haired youth started to squirm-almost instantly freezing up when he felt Grimmjow's mouth at his ear once more, tongue darting out to give a teasing lick.

"Play nice and nothing bad will happen."

The other thief was sticking her head out the window and waving at Ichigo now.

"Don't be rude go ahead wave to her Ichi-brat."

"Wave to-?"

Grimmjow chuckled. "I told you that's my cousin, HIme, now be nice and wave I think she likes you."

"The hell?"

Ichigo was getting angry now-well he was already angry but had momentarily forgotten what with the appearance of a certain blue-haired pain in his ass and all.

He struggled to break the hold once more.

"It's pointless."

Ichigo let out a growl. The hell he was just going to let these two-

"You're not going anywhere with my car. I could have you arrested you know I cou-

Another teasing lick followed by a slight nip "But you won't," the stupid blue haired bastard was purring now, "You like me too much."

"What the hell ever gave you that idea?"

Not that there wasn't some truth to Grimmjow's words but-

The bulge behind Ichigo was suddenly becoming a lot more obvious-

He felt the tell tale sign of heat rushing to his cheeks-worse yet Ichigo could feel his nipples growing hard-cold weather or wind for that matter always seemed to make them extra sensitive-

He really had to break the damn hold or-

"We're just going to borrow it for a night or two."

"What the hell for?"

Why was Ichigo asking these questions? He should be fighting, breaking the hold, snarling, yelling for Urahara to call the cops-yes there were many things Ichigo should be doing but-

"What for?"

Grimmjow's mouth abandoned his ear and moved down to his neck, nibbling and sucking on the pulsing skin-waking up the rest of Ichigo's body (which had held out pretty well so far)

"Buddy of mine is getting released in the mornin' they call him the Coyote but anyway he can't stay here and his flight doesn't leave until early Monday morning but you see it takes us 24 hours to get there-

"And what the hell am I supposed to drive home in?"

"Ah I'm glad you asked, come with me."

()()

A van, a big clunky not to mention seriously ugly van-Ichigo would have to be the world's biggest idiot to give up a prized beauty like his Jaguar for the scrap of junk that was being presented to him.

"Absolutely not!"

"I had a feeling you would be stubborn at first which is why-

Grimmjow didn't bother to finish his sentence just lifted Ichigo off his feet and tossed him none too gently in the back of the van-

But the blue haired male didn't do anything uber dramatic like slam and lock the doors shut-no he crawled in right after the orange haired youth, quickly stripping Ichigo out of his clothes, flipping him on to his stomach and then binding his arms and legs together with cable wires.

Ichigo was about to shout a string of profanities only to find a handkerchief around his mouth. He noted that it smelled faintly of leather and nicotine.

"It's a shame you're being stubborn. I really wanted hear my name coming out of that sweet mouth of yours but it seems that will have to wait for next time-

There was a pause

"Tempting as it would be to take you just like this. Full on van-sex also lacks romance so I'm only going to play with you a little this time."

()()

Ichigo shivered as cool fingers brushed against his bare back, teasing and raising the fine hardly noticeable peach fuzz-

So smooth. I've gotta ask what's your secret?"

Ichigo could swear or make threats but it seemed rather pointless since he was gagged and all. Besides Grimmjow hadn't really done anything bad so far-

"Naturally smooth, rarely if ever in need of a shave or wax."

Ichigo couldn't tell if Grimmjow was mocking or marveling at his almost feminine like skin texture.

Not that the orange haired youth cared. He was quite content with having little to no hair on his body.

"I like it _a lot_-means you can feel everything I'm doing and about to do to you."

Fingers continued there gentle teasing up and down Ichigo's spine before moving lower-stopping less than an inch or two above the crease of his firm buttocks-course Ichigo knew it was only a matter of time before it got to that point.

And he'd almost forgotten about the cable wires biting into his skin-

"If I untie you will you run?"

Run? Well Ichigo could run but he was not quite sure he would want to-while it was true Grimmjow could be an ass from time to time-it's kind of what had attracted him to the guy in the first place.

Not that he would admit this out loud or anything.

"What about if I remove this gag? Will you tell me to go to hell or fuck off?"

Closer, closer and the fingers had reached their intended destination-Ichigo shivered

"So responsive and I haven't even touched the inside yet."

()()()

And the rest remained-well not quite a blur per se but flashes of what had followed-

Grimmjow had indeed kept true to his word and only teased Ichigo-using those powerful hands to part his buttocks and then with out further warning driving into his tight little hole with what surely must have been a tongue-for as far as the orange haired teen could tell the blue haired pervert hadn't been carrying anything.

Not that that would have changed much either.

Ichigo had seen enough late night 'dramas' and it didn't exactly take a genius to figure out what his not quite enemy wanted from him.

And if Ichigo was going to be honest with him self he had wanted it just as much-

Still-

'_Virgin or not why the fuck did I pass out from a simple orgasm?'_

A half grin made it's way on to Ichigo face as he reconsidered-

'_Well perhaps it wasn't simple but-_

**A loud banging noise pulled the orange haired youth from his thoughts.**

"Ichigo? Ichigo! Hey Ichigo you in there man?"

The banging noise came again-louder this time.

"Ichigo? Do you hear me? Hey man its Renji are you in there?"

Ichigo blinked. Wondering how Renji had found him.

'_Well I did tell him and Rukia that I would be hanging around Urahara's café so-_

"Ichigo? You idiot stop scaring your friends and answer!"

Ichigo didn't really have any desire to let his friends catch him with his pants down so he quickly pulled them up and then exited the van.

Trying to ignore the way the harsh wind was biting at the top half of his body, which was still unclothed.

The best way to handle this situation would be to play it casual.

"Yo!"

"Yo? Don't fuckin' yo us Ichigo just what the hell were you doing in there? And more importantly," Renji paused and took a curious sniff "Why do you smell like jizz?"

Just once, just fucking once Ichigo wished his tattooed friend kept his thoughts and comments to himself.

He grinned when Rukia raised her baton (she was still wearing her Halloween costume as a 'band geek') and whacked Renji over the head. "Don't say that kind of thing in front of a lady!"

The redhead mumbled something under his breath about 'abusive girlfriends' and then took of his bomber jacket and tossed it at the orange haired teen. "Put that on. It's freezing fuckin' cold out here and I'm not gonna be the one scolded when your sisters find out that you're running around half naked when it's one of the coldest days in October."

Ichigo sighed and slipped the jacket on. "How did you guys know to find me in a van?"

Rukia snorted, "Because every time I turn around you're getting yourself into some sort of situation or another."

"Yeah but that doesn't explain-

"Look man," Renji rubbed the back of his head "Let's just say we received a tip off of sorts."

Ichigo raised a brow. "Meaning?"

The redhead shifted from one foot to another. "Nel and Tatsuki overheard something about hotwiring a car and then your name was also mentioned so-

"We put two and two together." Rukia finished.

Ichigo didn't quite understand "If you knew why did you wait until morning to show up?"

"Well uh you see the thing about that I uh-you tell him Rukia."

The raven-haired beauty eyes twinkled "Well I figured it was only fair, I mean Grimmjow gave me a treat so I wanted to return the gesture."

"What the hell Rukia?"

Rukia smirked, "Don't know what you're getting so worked up about Ichigo-in fact you should be thanking me."

Ichigo sighed. That was his raven-haired friend all over-never could stop that bad habit of playing match maker-still

"You hate that guy Renji why would you agree to do something like this?"

The tattooed pineapple looked a little uneasy, still bouncing from one foot to another, reddish brown orbs darting around-it was strange behavior-

"Renji?"

"I owed him."

That made absolutely no sense what so ever. What could Renji possibly owe Grimmjow?

"Owed him?"

"Yeah, I owed him man."

That was one of the most frustrating things about Renji-failed to explain things properly. But Ichigo wasn't letting it go so he pressed on-

"Why?"

"Uh-Renji trailed off, eyes darting back and fourth between Ichigo and Rukia "I can't talk about it man, it's uh just between me and him."

A secret between Renji and Grimmow?

Why did the idea irritate Ichigo?

He studied the redhead for a few minutes-trying to figure out what Renji was hiding, then he glanced at Rukia but the raven-haired beauty wasn't even paying attention-her gaze was off in the distance which was also strange.

Ichigo rubbed the side of his forehead. This was too much for early morning.

"Whatever let's just get out of here."

FIN?

Nah not really…the story continues but flash forwards to the following year…even though #2 centers more on Renji, Ichigo still plays a major role…

THANK YOU FOR READING

~SLY~

AND IT'S NOT QUITE HERE BUT HAPPY HALLOWEEN!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: When look at Kubo-sensei's earlier illustrations and compare them to the ones now…it's amazing how much his style has changed/improved. A lil like SLY's writing-no that's not write for me to compare myself to a genius.

A/N Sometimes when I'm writing I consider using pairings that aren't that popular or well known but it's hard to chose those ones over my favorites. And although this mini-interconnected series was originally supposed to be Halloween theme centered its not really Halloween-ish. Never the less here is round 2. Why is Renji considered a pineapple…his hairstyle…well sorta…anyway it's a fanatatic thing…not something of my own creation.

Warnings: AU, dialogue, OOC-ness, flashbacks with in flashbacks (try not to get lost) language, loose-plot, spelling, grammar, punctuation, interconnected one-shots, sprinkles of lime or something.

Pairings mentioned: SzaRen, RenRuki, GrimmIchi, sorta GrimmRen, RenIchi, others…

Why Go Bobbin for Apples When Ya Can Go Bobbin for Berries, Pineapples and Ravens?

SzayelxRenji

# Is that a broomstick in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

1 year later…

The point of a Halloween bash was to have fun. To forget all about life's bullshit for one night and just be. Stuff your face with candy, get shit faced, compete in costume competitions, follow your girlfriend inside the spooky haunted house and then fondle her in one of the abandoned rooms.

The last one was impossible for Abarai Renji since his girlfriend, Kuchiki Rukia, was no longer speaking to him.

And what was the reason?

()()

FLASHBACK PRESENT DAY

A few days before Halloween

(PHONE CONVERSATION)

"Now remember Abarai since I'm doing yet another favor for you you'll be indebted to me double time."

"Yeah, well you just better remember that every action has a consequence attached to it and one wrong move and you'll wind up bunking with that escaped convict friend of yours."

"The Coyote ain't a convict dumb ass he just got himself caught up in some bad shit but he's got himself a real good lawyer now so its only a matter of time before all charges are dropped. Not that any of this is your business in the first place."

"You hotwired my best friends Jag and took off for a year without telling anyone where the hell you were headed. It damn sure is my business! Everything that concerns or could effect Ichigo in some way is my business!"

"The strawberry ain't a baby Abarai, you don't need to fuckin' coddle him."

"Who the hell said anything about coddling? You bastard! I'm just telling you that you can't just waltz on back to Karakura and sweep Ichigo off his feet and back to your den or whatever."

"Are you done bitchin' Abarai?"

"Stop calling me a bitch you asshole!"

"Oh but isn't that exactly what you dream of being? Late at night when your little girlfriend is snoozing sweet and sound you're wide awake staring up at the ceiling and fantasizing about a certain med student sleeping one floor below you-thinking about how much you'd like to feel a whole lot more tan a few of his fingers shoved up your-"

"Shut the hell up!" Renji hissed and pressed the phone closer to his ear "Anyone could-what if someone else came along or tapped the lines or-

Guffawing laughter was the response on the other side followed by a teasing jeer "Then you'd have some real explain' to do eh Abarai?"

Renji would have banged his head into a wall just then if he honestly thought it would do him any good but naturally it did not so instead of unleashing his anger/annoyance on an inanimate object, the redhead too deep breaths and counted backwards in order to calm himself.

He wasn't sure if that mental stress meditation therapy crap his half sister always talked about actually worked but…it was worth a shot.

Truthfully the tattooed cherry pineapple didn't know why he put up with the person on the other end.

Well actually he did-asshole or not the other male helped him out with some personal "Issues" a year ago…well if one could considered borrowing a bunch of gay porn and manga helping that is.

Still Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was…if migraines had a physical form this guy would be it.

()()

It happened on a lazy afternoon just like this one. Rukia was spending time with her older brother and even though she invited Renji to join them the redhead knew better-Byakuya did not like him-could not stand him so why torture himself-Rukia would return soon enough.

Of course if he had known then what he knew now perhaps he would have joined his girlfriend.

()()

ANOTHER FLASH BACK

1 year previous

It was completely random-out of the blue-a total whim when Renji, half hung over from the previous night, speed dialed the first number on his contact list.

"Right on the dot. So I'm guessing this call is you telling me that you're ready to come face to face with your true self and stop bein' a scared lil' bitch eh?"

"This isn't fuckin' Canada asshole so stop saying eh in like every other sentence."

"Whatever you say pineapple princess-you comin' or not?"

"What! Now?"

"You're the one who woke me up Abarai so get your ass over here!"

Renji shook his head even though he knew Grimmjow couldn't see it. "I can't I mean I'm expectin' someone and uh yeah Ichigo's coming over and we're going out to play some foosball so-

"So? Tell him he can tag along. Might do him a bit of good-learn something."

"What? Hell no man I told you not to-I don't want anyone to know about this."

"Fine. If it will ease your mind I'll drop em' off later-like around 5 or something."

"Five? Why so late?"

Shit why did he sound like a pouting pup?

"You're not cute Abarai so don't even go there."

"Asshole! I'm plenty cute. I've had many admirers and chicks love my-

Grimmjow cut him off "Any way tell my strawberry I said hey."

"What? No! Ichigo doesn't-He can't know that I'm talking to you. I mean what if he gets the wrong idea and-

"Kurosaki ain't a dumb monkey like you. He won't think anything of it."

"Well uh-yeah that might be true but Rukia is-she's sure to catch on and then she'll tell Tatsuki and Tatsuki will tell Nel and Nel will tell Ichigo and I'll be royally screwed and-

"Alright, alright stop bleepin' in my ear-I swear sometimes you're just as bad as that dork Asano," a snort "It'll be our little secret."

Renji felt heat rising to his cheeks. Secret? Wasn't that kind of-

"Why the hell do you have to make it sound so," he trailed off not able to finish his sentence, cleared his throat and tried once more "Looks its not like there's anything goin' on between you and me so-I mean even if I do figure out that I'm gay or whatever it doesn't mean I'll let y-I wouldn't sleep with you if you paid me!"

"Dreamin' of being a prostitute eh Abarai? Nnoi's in the next room but if you want I can put in a good word for ya. He did say the club was looking for a redhead so…

"FUCK YOU JEAGER-ASS! I'm not gonna become one of your roommates on call whores just because I might-key word s is MIGHT be batting for the other team."

More guffawing laughter. "There's no might about anything Abarai, you're fruitier than a pink spotted dragon." 

"Screw you asshole!"

"Nah thanks I'm saving myself for a real woman. Think Kurosaki'll put on one of those silky kimonos for me if I ask nicely?"

"Ichigo ain't a woman dumb ass and neither am I."

"But you will be all in good time."

()()

FLASHBACK PRESENT DAY

'-On the line."

"What?"

"What are you fuckin' spacin' out rememberin' yesteryear or something? I said put my strawberry on I got something to say to him."

"Ichigo's not here."

This was a lie of course but Renji wasn't going to tell the blue haired bastard that. Not because Grimmjow was an ass who didn't even deserve a guy like Ichigo but more so because Renji knew his orange-haired buddy had been looking forward to-hoping for the bastards' call for months on end.

And if the berry found out that Grimmjow had called him first well…Renji rather not think of Ichigo's wrath. Well okay perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration but…

"It wasn't a request Abarai. Let me speak to Ichigo."

"Why so you can "borrow" something else of his and then disappear for another year? Not happening. What kind of friend would I be if I let Ichigo experience that kind of pain again?"

"Pain? What the hell do you mean by pain? What the hell happened to my strawberry and no beatin' round the bush pineapple princess give me the facts?"

Renji slapped his hands over his mouth. Shit he wasn't supposed to let that-he hadn't meant to reveal something so personal and secretive out loud-especially when Ichigo specifically asked him not to."

()()

FLASH

"I'm trusting you not to repeat what I'm about to tell you Renji. Can you promise me that these words will never pass your lips?"

Ichigo's expression was so serious for a second Renji thought something bad or traumatic might have happened to his berry friend. He swallowed an invisible lump forming in his throat and then rested his head on his best friends' shoulder-ignoring the slight awkwardness of the current setting.

Both teens were down stairs in the laundry room wearing nothing but their boxers and even though the cherry pineapple was deeply devoted to Rukia he wouldn't deny that Ichigo was rather nice to look him. A small part of Renji even wished Ichigo's delectable little orange trail.

'Shit!' the tattooed redhead cursed himself inwardly just then 'What the hell am I thinking?'

Not quite sure he could keep a straight face when his mind had taken an impromptu trip in the gutter, Renji turned his back to his friend and said. "I know I'm not always the most reliable guy Ichigo but I promise I won't tell a soul."

He could hear soft rustling sound behind him but didn't bother turning back around. Who knows what might happen?

"Well it would be a hell of a lot easier if I knew I had your complete attention," he heard his friend sigh, imagined Ichigo was probably frowning-not that that was anything out of the ordinary. "For all I know you're looking at the lint trap or thinking about what costume you want to wear on Halloween."

'If only it were that simple.'

Renji played with his loosely braided ponytail for a few minutes, noting that he was in need of a trim. Sure it might be slightly girly to worry about such things like split ends but his hair was one of his greatest treasures. "I'm listening Ichigo. Just say what you gotta say." Translation: Hurry up and distract me with something else other than thoughts of your sexy ass.

A reluctant sigh, "Would you call me lame if I said I've been keeping track of the days on the calendar?"

Were they really about to have this conversation?

Renji rolled his neck and shoulders and prepared himself for what he knew was coming but wished hadn't.

Crossing his arms over his chest and kicking down any lingering and perverse thoughts Renji faced his berry friend once more. "I'm all ears. What's all this about a calendar Ichigo?"

A light pink dusted Ichigo's cheeks. "It's not so much the calendar that matters as it is the actual days. I mean- orange lashes lowered partially shielding expressive brown eyes from view "A person can learn a lot in a years time right? Come to conclusions and discover that someone who they had convinced themselves that they were merely tolerating for the sake of tolerance turned out to be a lot more than that? I mean say a mini crush or minor attraction turned into so much more? My mother always used to say that I tend to think to much with my heart rather than my head but can you really blame me?

Should I honestly feel sorry or guilty for falling for someone who likes me for me and doesn't expect anymore than I'm willing to give? I mean yeah sure he's kind of an ass for just dumping me in back of the van after he erm-well I'm sure you can forgive it out. You certainly wouldn't about the "smell" or whatever that day."

Renji cracked a grin. Ichigo was rambling. Rambling was something the berry tended to do when he was nervous. "What can I say Ichigo? I can't help it if I can smell liquid passions from a mile away."

A glare "Ha, ha very funny."

Renji nodded his head and his grin widened "Yeah I thought it was-especially the expression on your face." Here the redhead waggled his tattooed brows at his orange haired pal.

Ichigo's glare darkened even more and he snarled out "Oh shut up!"

In Renji's opinion Ichigo's glare looked more like a pout. Not that he would say this out loud.

"Right yeah back to what I was saying-

Renji quickly discovered what the rustling sound was as Ichigo unfolded a paper and read what was written. Renji thought maybe it would be best to cover his ears after a few paragraphs in. Some how it felt wrong to hear such…words. It didn't take a genius to figure it out after all. The berrys' overall expression and voice softened with each line-clearly a letter or love song. Containing the kind of words-phases-declarations-promises that would make a group of drunken women fall down into a drunken swoon. Or in this case a certain arrogant blue haired bastard who secretly happened to be a closet sap for mushy gushy romance and the like.

Not that the pineapple would tell the berry this. For one thing Ichigo probably wouldn't believe him and for another…if Grimmjow found out the guy would skin him alive.

Renji shuddered remembering the tragic telling about the Vine Prince in purple bloomers-poor bastard never should have moved in on another guys' girl.

"So what do you think? Too much? I-should I leave out the part about how I would bind my soul to him if I could just be granted that one day without interruptions or judgment? Or how about the part where I like awake at night and can still feel the cable wires biting into my wrist-still feel his-

Yes Renji knew he should most definitely cover his ears now.

"WHAT THE HELL RENJI I'M TRYING TO ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE HERE AND INSTEAD OF HELPING ME YOUR COVERING YOUR EARS AND SINGING SOME OBNOXIOUS SONG?"

Renji flinched. Sometimes he forgot just how loud Ichigo could bellow…then again considering the berry's' old man and all..

"You're crushing on Grimmjow, yeah I get it-seriously you don't need to say any more Ichigo unless you wanna wind up with my vomit on your shoes."

A glare "You're supposed to be my best friend and if I can sit there and listen to you go on for hours and hours about how many licks it takes to get your girlfriend off then-

The pineapples face grew hot and he waved his arms wildly and shushed the other teen "Please just take it down a notch because I don't want uh-I don't want my neighbor to hear us. Guy just moved here a short while ago and he seems like the real straight laced type you know-well minus the pink hair but I figure I can just chock that up to genetics or something but anyway so you're hot for Jeager? Well I guess that makes sense in way-the whole opposites attract and all that."

"Yes but I=

"But what Ichigo?"

"It's just," the orange berry scratched at his hairless cheek "He doesn't-Grimmjow doesn't seem like the type who would go for a long term relationship and I-well I'm just not sure I can sit back and watch him flirt with someone else so-

Renji cocked his head curiously to the side and tried to figure out where this was all heading now.

Was it possible that Ichigo was asking him for advice? Not that Renji wasn't flattered but," the pineapple rubbed the back of his neck- "Look at it this way Ichigo what's the worst that can happen? He'll fuck you and then forget all about you?"

Errr…damn did he really just-

Ichigo scowled "Do you have to make it sound so crude? I mean why is it always fuck or bang why can't it ever be-

Hell if he was going to let his best friend use the forbidden L word.

Renji quickly cut Ichigo off "We're guys Ichigo. Teenage guys and fucking and fighting is all we know. We don't understand love and strong emotions like that. If that's," a frustrated sigh (He really wasn't good with this sort of thing) "If that's what you're looking for then maybe you should be looking elsewhere. An older guy-not a geezer but maybe like a dude in college or something?"

()()

FLASH END

()()

"The fuck you doin' pineapple princess? What did you fall asleep or something? I don't have all damn day."

Renji shook his head and played it casual. Lying on the spot.

"Sorry your voice faded out for a few minutes there-damn phone I've been meaning to get it replaced,"

he banged said phone against the top of the washing machine, inwardly cringing at the damage he was inflicting on one of his other favorite treasures.

"Put my strawberry on the phone and don't bother trying to bullshit me again because I'm looking in your bedroom window right now and I can see him sitting at the computer."

The hell?

"Who the hell gave you the right to peek into my house?

What next you gonna raid my closet Jeager-ass?"

The mocking laughter returning

"Nah I never cared much for track suits and cheesy head bands or golden medallions and poofy wigs for that matter."

"Hey, hey I'll tell you what I told everyone else. Those wigs aren't mine! They belong to a guy-there was a man who died here years ago and I was always taught to respect even those who have passed on so I didn't remove his stuff."

A snort,

"Shit Abarai you really are a total grade a dumbass.

I just made that all up based on your profile and all those hideous pics posted on the web but now.

Yeah now I know you're hidin' my berry from me because you just confirmed it."

"No I'm not I don't know what your talking about."

Renji knew it was pointless. The not quite secret was out of the bag so to speak. Still-

"Even if he was I'm not letting you talk to him."

"It wasn't a fuckin' request Abarai, give me my berry!"

"NO!" If yelling at the top of his lungs were the only way to get it through Grimmjow's skull then Renji would do just that.

"I TOLD YOU THAT YOU HURT HIM LAST TIME AND HELL IF I'M GONNA STEP ASIDE AND LET YOU-

"What are you? His replacement mother?"

"I'm his friend you ASSHOLE and I I've tried to support this little sick and twisted obsession or whatever you have with him but I'm not-

The enraged cherry pineapple abruptly shut his mouth when the sound of thumping footfalls reached his ears.

Sir Don Kanoji only haunted the bathroom and the den so it couldn't be him-so that left-

"Renji what's all the yelling about? Goat face is expecting me to manuscript finished but I can hardly concentrate when you're screaming your head off."

Renji panicked and threw his previous phone away from him cringing when it landed in an old bucket filled with dirty water before turning back to face his berry friend.

Only Ichigo could pull of a black t-shirt (the numerals VIx XV stitched on the right sleeve) with an oatmeal duster, tight dark blue jeans and bat-printed stockings without looking like a total jackass. A pen was tucked behind the Berrys' left ear and orange-framed reading glasses were balanced on the bridge of his nose.

Renji leaned against the dryer and continued playing it casual "Nothing Ichigo I just saw a roach-yeah a roach it's dead now though." a slightly nervous laugh and a stomping of his foot "You know I think I'm gonna call up the Xcution Xterminators tomorrow because roaches are just gross and-

Ichigo raised a brow, looking doubtful "Right so you mean to tell me that you're acting this way over a roach?"

The cherry pineapple waved his hands wildly and backed up a bit glancing over at the bucket sending a silent plea for his beloved phone to be okay "N-no I mean yeah man-that's it was HUGE-

Shit he did not just squeal like a freakin' girl did he?

The orange haired teen followed his gaze and Renji freaked even more.

So much for playing it cool.

He stepped in front of his friend blocking his view

"A-Anyway there's nothing to see here so why don't you just go back upstairs and-

"Hmm for something that is nothing you sure seem to be quite enraptured with it," a teasing smirk which did not quite fit his friends' naturally youthful looking face "What exactly kind of fetish do you have with a dirty mop Renji?"

Fetish with a dirty mop? As if! What kind of ridiculous asinine shit was-

"Not mops brooms-yeah its both an effective weapon and cleaner," nod, nod "Yep and this is the time of the year for brooms you know."

Yes Renji knew he sounded like a complete and total idiot but hopefully it would get his berry friend to focus or think about something else.

"And I have a difficult time focusing so-

"So you're staying down in an dark and dank basement having a conversation with your broom and bucket is that what you're trying to tell me Renji?"

If that's what Ichigo wanted to believe why change it.

Renji nodded and then laughed "Pretty crazy huh?" He scratched the back of his head "But you know I like being different."

"Hmm well I guess I'll leave you and your broom buddy to it then." There was clear amusement in his best friends' tone now.

Renji let out a relieved sigh as Ichigo headed for the stairs. "I'll be up in a short bit man and then we can go grab a bite at a noodle bar or something if you want to?"

He hadn't planned on it but what was the harm. They were both guys and so it was natural for guys to eat.

Ichigo stopped and turned considering Renji's words for a minute and then "Sounds good but-

"But what?"

Why more buts? Why couldn't his berry friend just go back upstairs and-?

"All jokes aside were you talking to someone just now right before I came down?"

Renji paled. Damn his friend was on to him. Clearly Ichigo hadn't bought his bullshit for a minute. Fuck! Now what?

He wracked his brain and then it came to him. "I was talking to myself. They say as long as you don't answer back you're perfectly sane." Renji patted the washing machine as if it were a living-breathing mammal. "We're real pals me and good ole' wash-even if we did have a minor falling our when he dyed my boxers pink back in freshman year."

Ichigo still looked doubtful but thankfully let it drop.

"Anyway about the noodle stand I'm all for it. We can go just as I finish up this last paragraph, then I'll jump in the shower and we can go."

"Cool. Sounds great. Wonderful. Haha. I'll even buy this time."

Renji counted the minutes thinking maybe just maybe he could rescue his phone from permanent damage. He ushered his berry friend back towards the staircase "You go ahead and do what you got to do and then we can go."

"Are you feeling alright Renji?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't be feeling alright-

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Ichigo told ya like there's the whole roach problem and-

"Hmm. I can talk to goat face and Urahara maybe you can come and stay with us for a few days while your place is fumigated or something?"

"Er yeah sure cool man, you're a real pal Ichigo now go on and get back to your manu-thingy I'll be up soon enough."

Orange brows furrowed tightly together "Are you sure you're-

Renji waved the berry's concerns away. "Trust me if something was wrong you'd be the first to know."

"Well alright then see you in," the berry glanced down at his watch "How bout 15-20?"

"Sure. Yeah. Cool. Even make it 30 and we can catch a movie too."

Not that Renji had that much money to blow but…ah well desperate times call for-

"A movie?" Ichigo looked thoughtful "Is Rukia coming?"

Renji shook his head. "Nah she's out of town-some family reunion or something-anyway Ichigo you're wastin time my friend so head on upstairs and-

"You're right you're right I just," orange lashes shielded cinnamon and coffee brown eyes- "It's been-it's almost-do you-do you think he'll come back?"

'He's a lot closer than you realize Ichigo.'

But of course Renji couldn't let his berry friend know this so instead he just patted the smaller male reassuringly "Sure, sure I mean he's gotta get bored sometime right?"

A slight smile pulled at peach tinted lips "I hope so."

Renji considered bashing his head into a wall after all. Seeing his friend so damn-it was almost painful. He realized as Ichigo continued on back upstairs that he would have to do something even if he didn't like it. Ichigo's happiness-his berry buddy deserved true happiness.

"I might've heard something about Grimm coming back to town."

Stopping dead in his tracks the berry turned back around-his eyes were wider and brighter than ever-if he was a new born pup his tail would be wagging- "Really?"

Renji cringed and slapped himself at the same time. Ah well what's done is done.

"It's just a rumor but-

"I've got to see him!" In a very uncharacteristic way the berry punched his fist in the air "I've gotta tell him-I'm going to tell him!"

And before Renji could get out another word Ichigo was off in a flash. No doubt anxious to get all hot and sexy for his Jeager. It was cute in a way but at the same time-

'Damn now I'm going to have to ask for another favor-shit-shit shit.'

Renji reached for the switch in order to shut off the basement lights and then remembered his baby. He sprinted over to the dirty bucket, rolled up his sleeves and reached inside. Hoping-praying that it wasn't broken.

Much to his delight/relief the device was not only working it was buzzing. Wiping off the mouthpiece and the earpiece with the hem of his shirt Renji answered the call "Yeah?"

"Don't you yeah me Abarai. What the fuck happened just now?"

He couldn't tell Grimmjow the truth so he continued with his white lie.

"I told you before man I got this rodent problem in my basement. Big son of a bitch too keep fuckin' with my head-nearly broke my damn ass when I tried to hit with a mop."

Loud boisterous laughter met his ear and then "Stop fucking around and avoiding the point of this call. Le me speak to my strawberry."

"Ichigo is in the shower and if you think I'm going to give him my fun while he's bare ass naked, think again!"

A grunt or a groan? It was difficult to pinpoint and Renji wasn't going to waste his time asking either. He was probably better off not knowing.

"That's a real nice image you're painting for me there pineapple princess, perhaps you could snap a pic or two and send me a copy."

"Snap you a pi-What the fuck Grimmjow? I told you before Ichigo is my friend-FRIEND we don't take pictures of each other naked but maybe you can convince him to strip for you during your little reunion or something."

FUCK! Did he really just say that?

"Heh, you're getting better at this Abarai. Now answer me this does my berry know I'm back in town?"

Instead of a straight answer Renji responded with a lazy half-ass truth "Blue-birds tweet around him so…yeah anything is possible."

"Blue birds you say?"

An eye roll "Just do me a favor and don't leave him high and dry okay?"

"For the record I never leave any of em' dry- but anyway sounds like you're telling me I'm gonna meet my strawberry princess again real soon."

"If you bring your ass to Noodle Ave. you will."

Laughter "It's a date!"

()()

Basket of clean laundry in his arms Renji climbed the staircase and muttered lowly to himself, so distracted in his thoughts was the cherry pineapple that he failed to notice that he was straight into someone else until it was too late.

Thanking his lucky stars 'At least its just clothes and not something like coffee or pizza-mmm pizza-'

The laundry went flying up in the air and all over the staircase, himself and the person who had crashed into him.

Thanking his lucky stars again 'At least it's a fairly small complex and mainly inhabited by all guys'

How embrassing it would have been if some little old lady lived in this complex. She'd probably call the cops on Renji based on his mere appearance alone claiming that

'some wild ruffian has broken into my house and is ready to take out with my antique china set-please come quick-arrest that thief!'

"The last woman who fell into my arms wound up carrying my child for 9 months but if its all right with you I'd really like to get my doctorate before going down that path again-not that I am not tempted by your beauty because I am."

Renji blinked. Why was there a body underneath him-? Correction not just any body why was there a body of a living breathing very pink-haired man underneath him? More to the point why the hell wasn't he scrambling to his feet and getting as far away from this guy? Why wasn't he threatening to give the bastard a black eye for touching him oh so casually-what the hell was the big idea putting his hands on his fucking waist and all? Why were they just staying in this current position gazing into each other's eyes?

'Why the fuck is going on?"

A hand, which damn sure wasn't Renji's own, pushed a stray lock of hair out of his face. Renji felt his face grown warm as the guys' eyes-glossy amber-shined with pure amusement and something 'far from innocent' behind octagonal shaped silver frames.

It took a moment but once Renji's brain caught up with the rest of him he recognized his "savior"

'Your that med student who lives one floor below me?"

The guy was a hell of a lot more than that but Renji rather not come off like some kind of gay perverted stalker. 'That's it Renjji-play it cool-play it casual-don't let on that you've go the hots for this guy.'

"Inside?"

"Huh? What? Sorry? Come again?"

'Wise, real wise Renji because spacing out like an idiot when the hot guy is talking to you is sure to win you points'

"I said you look a little flushed why don't you come up to my apartment for a moment and I'll make you some tea to warm your body?"

The fuck?

"Oh n-no that's not necessary really I-

"I insist." A genuine smile and then…

Was this guy really taking hold of his hand now? Was this guy really running his thin fingers over his inner wrist? Was this guy really going to-"Oi Oi what do you think you're-!" Renji let out a roar of protest and jerked his hand back.

Hell if he let some guy-some guy he'd been crushing on just take him by the hand and kiss him as if he were some wounded damsel in distress!

The bastard was still smiling at him. "Forgive me but as a man who is well on his way to becoming one of the best doctors the world has ever seen so I refuse to leave such a fair beauty like yourself in such a condition."

Wait a minute-back up-Renji played the mans' words in his mind and felt his anger/humiliation rising-where the hell did this pepto-prince come off calling him a woman?

Renji's lip curled into a hideous snarl as he fisted the white lab coat the 'pepto-prince' was wearing "Listen asshole I ain't a damn woman so get your greasy mitts off of me!"

Well that was perhaps a little over the top-how was he ever going to have hot kinky med sex if he was screaming at the guy and acting like a banshee on steroids?

'Fuck me.' Renji let out a groan.

"I never said you were a woman, mon petit rouge."

"Yes you did!" Renji's hair whipped violently behind him as he continued to snarl and but some distance between himself and his "neighbor."

The pink-haired man calmly stood up and smoothed out the crease in his pristine white slacks and slowly approached the fuming pineapple "No you misunderstand. When I called you a fair beauty I was not referring to your physical attributes for it was quite clear to anyone that you are every bit a man as I am-

What the fuck? Was the bastard backtracking now? Trying to make him look and feel stupid?

"You think I'm an idiot I know exactly what you said you-you-!"

He struggled to find an insult but could not find one that he would surely regret later so instead he muttered 'asshole' again and eyed the 'pepto-prince' warily. Keeping his arms crossed in defense he enquired, "What's your name anyway?"

Clear amusement continued to shine in amber orbs as the man kneeled on one knee and captured Renji's hands in his once more- "I am Szayel and you shall be my Ren."

Errr what? Hello I have a girlfriend and we just met. And how the hell do you know my name? It doesn't matter if you're hot and I've been fantasizing about you for a good long time now-it doesn't matter if my girlfriend is out of town she's still my girlfriend and-and who the hell said I was gay anyways-I mean er um just because you might be hot and stuff doesn't mean I want you to put your man meat in my or that I wish to to put my or-

Of course Renji wasn't like his best bud Ichigo he couldn't just ramble all these words out loud-no he felt it was better to keep em to himself. Felt it was better to-

"It is most unhealthy for you to stay outside in this cold hallway for such a long time-please at the very least allow me to make you a cup of coffee or tea?"

Coffee huh? Well that didn't sound too bad. And Ichigo probably wouldn't be out of the bathroom for a good hour so…

Reddish brown eyes narrowed and Renji stood to his full height-feeling slightly more confident that he was an inch or two taller than Szayel "One cup and that's it. Don't try anything funny or I'll-

Amber eyes glittered and the man purred, "I promise I'll be on my best behavior, Ren."

()()

"Sugar or cream?"

"Uh Sugar I guess. Not too much though. I hear it raises your blood pressure." Renji drummed his fingers on the kitchen counter top. He was beginning to have second thoughts about being here-in another man's apartment-in another mans' kitchen-who apparently, a raised tattooed brow, enjoyed wearing next to nothing when he was in the comfort of his own home.

Just how tiny was that apron? Was it normal for a guy to have such toned and perfect thighs? Such perfectly pointed knees and was that a tattoo or a birthmark near his hipbone?

Renji wondered if he would fall into the flaming pervert category if he leaned forward in order to get a better look?

What exactly would he call Szayels' skin tone? It was lighter than peach but darker than cream?

"-Friday?"

"Hmm? What?"

Damn. Szayel had asked him a question and instead of answering Renji had spaced out yet again.

He really should stop drooling and pay attention.

'Maybe if I drink the tea and pretend to burn myself he'll forget both his question and the fact that I wasn't listening and then I can excuse myself and go or maybe I could-

"-Being a guinea of sorts for me?"

Huh? Pigs? What was this all about pigs? Renji shook his head not understanding. He decided to go ahead and say the first thing that came to mind.

"Sure pigs are cool I guess except for when they eat slop-then its pretty gross-I mean that stuff looks like vomit and dude if I was a pig I wouldn't want to-

A light chuckle cut Renji off "Drink up mon petit rouge and then we shall get better acquainted."

()()

Long gone were Renji's uber macho-man days and its place had come…

Did he say Szayel could feel him up-pet him and make him moan like some pleasure whore? No he did not! How the hell had Szayel known about his weak spot-the spot that practically made him purr-located right underneath his left pectoral muscle?

Renji winced the combination of knowing what he was doing was wrong or rather what Szayel was doing to him was wrong but doing nothing to stop it was even worse.

The delicious tea with pink-haired mans' natural odors was turning him on-it was like sampling a little piece of heaven…savoring a sinful treat-eaten a forbidden piece of fruit-not that he was tasting much of anything…other than his own blood when he'd bite down on his tongue in order to silence the noise he was making.

"There is no need to be so nervous mon petit rouge," a smirk curled on cinnamon stained lips "After all it isn't really cheating if your not the one doing the touching, now is it?"

'Tell that to the cobra in my pants!'

()()

Rukia was going to kill him. Painfully and slowly and in a 1,000 and 1 ways. She was going to pluck out his apple seed-brown eyes and place them in a glass jar in her bedroom. She was going to sever his vocal cord enabling him to speak forever more. She was going to rip out his fire engine red locks, which he had often more than once teased her with during sex, strand by strand and then burn them in a bonfire. She was going to

"Renji you're the one who wanted to come here and yet you barely even touched your noodles."

Renji's tattooed brow twitched 'Sorry Ichigo but I've got something a little more important to worry about now then food-like thinking about how I'm going to tell my girlfriend of 3 years that I've cheated on her with a man I barely even know.'

Instead of saying this Renji waggled his brows at his berry friend "Surprised you noticed since you were so busy drooling over your Jeager-love-bun and all."

The berry turned a lovely shade of pink-something Renji would normally tease Ichigo about but didn't have the energy to do so at moment.

"Oh shut up! It was a one time deal and I was-I acted a bit out of character because I was excited to see him."

"Excited? Just how excited are we talking Ichigo hmm?"

Yes. Yes this was the best way to forget all about his problems. Tease his best bud. Ah good times. Good times.

Orange brows furrowed in confusion until it dawned on the other teen and then he glared sharply at the pineapple and threatened to stick his chopsticks in a not-so-sunny place-

Renji's ass burned at the unintentional reminder and he shifted in his seat, ignoring the curious look Ichigo was now sending him.

Avoiding the Berrys' gaze he scanned the area "So where did your Jeager run off to anyway?"

"I went to take a piss if that's alright with you, Abarai."

Renji bawled up his fists and rose up from out of his stool "You wanna a piece of me? Do ya? Do ya?"

A cocky grin twisted Grimmjows' lips as he slid in between the berry and pineapple and purred out "Are you asking me to do you?"

Too close. Way too damn close. Back the fuck off! It's called personal space you dick!

"HELL NO!" Renji roared loud enough to wake the sleeping big-breasted cougar at the other end of the long bar top and pointed an accusing finger at the cocky blue haired male when Ichigo shot him (him) an annoyed look "It's him-he keeps saying all this shit to me Ichigo but I swear I don't like him like that-I LOVE RUKIA!" 

The berry was silent for a moment as he studied his face. Renji had some things on his mind so he hoped that Ichigo wouldn't take his strange behavior as a form of guilt. He hoped that his best friend wouldn't-

"What happened between the two of you? What aren't you telling me?"

Grimmjow put his arm around Ichigo and muttered something lowly that Renji couldn't quite catch. A moment later though the berry was moving off his stool and heading towards the exit, a noticeable slumping in his shoulders.

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?

Renji didn't like to make a scene in public. No really he didn't but sometimes a man had to do things that he wasn't too proud of and right now he had to-grab hold of Jeager and tear him a new asshole!

Not literally of course but-

"What the fuck is your problem? What the hell did you say to him?"

When Grimmjow barely batted a lash and let out a lazy yawn Renji felt his anger rise to the degree of hot boiling lava

"TELL ME YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ICHIGO JUST NOW?"

A smirk. "I'm not sure you're ready to know just yet pineapple princess?"

Bastard! This bastard was seriously going to test his patience now? Now of all times-

Renji's nostrils flared and he curled his fist winding up for the punch "Don't fuck with me or I swear I will fuck you up real bad."

A snort "Practice that in front of the mirror did you?"

Of course Grimmjow wasn't fazed. Hardly anything fazed the bastard. Renji stood to his full height and tightened his hold on the other mans' collar threatening to crush his wind pipe-he'd seen plenty of action movies-he could pull it off-sure he could-

"TELL ME WHAT YOU SAID TO ICHIGO!"

Another smirk-nope a full on grade A cocky grin "You asked for it but don't pass out from shock."

()()()

'I told him that you've secretly been crushing on him for years-told him that you came to me last year 2 weeks before Halloween and asked for my help-asked for my expertise to make him fall madly in love with you-I agreed on the account that you would give me your anal cherry-he was a bit overwhelmed by hearing such a mouth full and had to take some time to think things through.'

Bastard! He had to be joking. He was joking right? Right? Please for the sake of all that is pure let it be a sick joke-he wouldn't really go that far-wouldn't really come up with a lie that was sure to crush and scar Ichigo would he? He wouldn't? He couldn't.

Electric blues flashed

'This changes nothing though the moment he gets back I'm going to drag him into one of the stalls and fuck his pretty little ass or hell maybe I'll just take right on top of the sink- here a wild grin-a licking of lips- "always made it a goal of mine to have earthquake sex-now might just be the perfect time.'

Lies. Lies. All of it lies. It had to be. Grimmjow wouldn't really go that far just for some ass. He wouldn't really fuck Ichigo in that way would he? No. He was just-Renji wasn't sure what the bastard was doing but he knew one thing: Grimmjow was trying to piss him off-get him all worked up and why?

Because the bastard loved to fight. Get all raw and bloody. It was one of his favorite past times.

Not a big secret. Everyone who was anyone knew this.

Renji wracked his brain trying to think of the best way to respond to this steaming pile of bullshit. Trying to think of the best way to ensure Ichigo's happiness in the end.

But he'd never been the kind who thinks things through-he was more of a punch now-talk later kind of guy. And it worked well enough so...

"Renji, Grimmjow what the hell are you guys still doing sitting around? The movie starts in 30 minutes and it takes 15 to get there."

Ichigo returned looking perfectly cool, calm, collected-no better than that-his eyes were shining, his peach-tinted skin was glistening-how the berry managed this Renji would never know-it was just one of those things that made his best bud special.

Renji shot a glare at Grimmjow. Hell if he'd let this asshole ruin his friendship with Ichigo.

()()

Dragging the berry away with out explanation, ignoring the dark glare Jeager sent him and forcing his friend out into the parking lot Renji decided to set the record straight, clear up any misunderstandings or lies and tell his best friend everything.

"Ichigo I need to tell you something. A lot of things actually. Thing is you can't interrupt me while I'm telling you these things because uh well because I want to hear everything before you say what you need to say.

Above everything else-all bullshit aside I love you like a brother and I don't want anything or anyone to ever come between that-

"Renji I-what are-

"Shhh just hold all thoughts, comments and questions til I'm done. I should've told you everything from the start but well I didn't so I'm doing it now. You need to know these things before you let yourself fall completely-

"Uh Renji I really don't think y-

"You said it yourself. Sometimes we do things that we don't plan on doing. Sometimes things happen that we never dreamt would happen in a million years. Sometimes we-

"Seriously Renji this isn't necessary I already-

"Ichigo please just stop and listen to what I have to say. You NEED to know this isn't easy for me to say man but it needs to-

"No you're the one who needs to listen Renji. If this is about what Grimmjow told me then-

"He's lying Ichigo! He's only trying to drive a wedge between us because the truth is-

"The truth is that you are in love with him," a deep frown followed by a sigh "I should have realized it sooner but I guess I was too caught up in my own-

"What the hell are you talking about Ichigo I'm not-

"You don't have to lie Renji," A sad smile, almost pitying, "We are human and humans can't help who they fall for-

"No Ichigo stop you've got it all-I don't know where the hell you got that idea from but-

"At any other time I'd step aside-I'd back down because well that's the kind of guy I am. I would gladly see to it that my friends and family are safe and happy before worrying about myself. I would gladly give my left lung if you asked for it-give you my flesh and bone and hell even my very soul but- Cinnamon and coffee brown eyes blazed with fire and determination and something else which was almost frightening "I will never give Grimmjow up, EVER!"

WHAT THE FUCK?

This was even worse than what the cocky blue haired bastard had led him to believe-this was-this was-

The berry was patting the pineapple on the shoulder now and giving it a light squeeze "I hope we can still be friends, Renji," the arm dropped and Ichigo put some distance between them and smiled almost hesitantly "Though I completely understand if you need to stay away from me for awhile."

()()

But of course there friendship was much stronger than that and eventually the real truth came out and Ichigo invited Renji out for a night of fun…well actually it went a little more like this

"Please Renji I'm only going to ask you for this favor one time."

The berry and pineapple were sitting across from one another in a booth inside of their favorite places to-a diner that was inspired by the US better know as a grease spoon. Renji shoved a mouthful of gravy soaked fries into his mouth laughing when Ichigo twitched his nose up in disgust.

"It would be different if it was just Grimmjow-hell I'd prefer it that way but its not. He wants to show me off or whatever, introduce me to his posse and I just I don't feel comfortable being in a room with that much testosterone at once ya know?"

Renji weighed the option of declining and accepting and in the end…

()()

And here it was some 48 hours later and although Grimmjows' friends had taken quite an interest in Ichigo none of the guys were actually bold or stupid enough to touch him-course reason for this might be due to the overgrown cat standing obediently at its masters side-shielding the berry from view-or maybe the feline was simple bored.

Renji wasn't an expert so he had no way of really knowing. Point was Ichigo was perfectly safe with Grimmjow so...

'I can leave at any time. No one will even notice I'm gone.'

As to where the cherry pineapple would go after leaving the party?

Returning to his lonely apartment didn't sound all that appealing but he supposed it was a better option than watching his best friend dry hump his boyfriend on the dance floor all night.

Not that it was a disgusting sight per se-more like

'After this I'll never think of candy corn the same way again.'

Yes his berry friend wished to go as something more original for a costume and Renji had to admit he'd never seen a human candy corn before now.

"Ya waitin' for someone Red?"

One beer too many couldn't be reason enough for Renji to start hallucinating. But really what other explanation was there to explain this guy-tall dark and lanky and just flat out freakish and perverted looking-especially those eyes. It was Grimmjows' roommate Nnoitra. No real surprise the dark-haired male had decided to dress up as a devil since he was anything but angelic.

A few times throughout the course of the night the pineapple thought the guy might be checking him out-there mere thought left the redhead feeling uneasy. He had simply choked it up into mild curiosity since after not many guys kept their hair as long as he did.

Perhaps Nnoitra had simply mistaken him for a woman. Renji bawled up his fists and snarled up at Nnoitra-not caring in the least that his actions might lead him to an early grave.

'If he kills me at least I'll go down fighting."

"Expression suits ya just fine Red but we can do better than that."

The fuck? What the hell didn't anyone-why didn't anyone respect his personal fucking space anymore?

"BASTARD! DON'T TOUCH ME!" Renji started swinging his fists only to feel like an even bigger it when Nnoitra dodged them effortlessly before capturing his wrists and pinning the redhead against the stereo system.

At was at this moment that the pineapple realized he was pretty much screwed. Nnoitra (the fucker!) had an iron tight grip and wasn't letting up anytime soon. Renji cursed a million times over not that this did him much good either-

'Damn what now?'

"Come on Red, one round with me is all I'm askin' then ya're free to scurry off to freedom."

If Nnoitra's smile/leer was supposed to be reassuring in someway-it wasn't.

()()

"Perhaps it is high past time for me to get a new prescription for what I am seeing must surely be some type of illusion for I know my Ren would never take an interest in the likes of someone like you, Nnoitra."

Cliché's and manhood be damned!

Renji never thought he'd be so happy to hear Szayel's voice, as he was at that very second. Not that he needed rescuing because he was a man and he could handle himself but a nice distraction…yes that was much appreciated.

Slipping out of Nnoitra's hold Renji rushed towards the exit-Ichigo could chew him out for it later but right now the tattooed redhead simply didn't care.

()()

Yes he was an idiot. Always had been and that would probably never change. And waiting in Szayel's home like a good little wife did absolutely nothing for Renji's pride but he'd pretty much pissed his pride away when he let the man blow him so at this point-he might as well just make the most of it.

()()

Halloween was meant to be fun not boring so instead of leaving a trail of candy, Renji opted to leave various articles of clothing scattered around the complex.

Destination point? The living room because the bedroom was far too forward and all though the oversized Jacuzzi had looked quite invited and it had always been one of Renji's fantasies to dine while relaxing his muscles in a sea of bubbles it was a bit too intimate of a setting.

Renji was still in the early stages of the game with Szayel and he wasn't quite sure he was ready to crash dive to the finish line. So yes the living room on the soft wine red carpeting in front of the fireplace that was emitting a soft glow-doing wonders his honey toned skin-well the parts that had been left exposed that it.

It had been a last minute choice of costume but Renji liked it far better than any of he other selections in the store. At first the pineapple wasn't even going to bother wearing it but it wasn't like he could be a sexy samurai at any other time of the year-well he could if he wanted to look like a jackass which he so did not wish to do.

The only thing missing was the weapon but the redhead hadn't wanted to spend the extra 50 so the outfit itself would have to do.

And anyway Szayel really needed to hurry the hell up or all of the food that Renji had raided from the mans' refrigerator and spread out on the glass coffee table would be gone.

()()

When at last the jingling of keys and the soft sound of footsteps was heard Renji sat up a little trying to look casual yet seductive at the same time-whatever the hell that meant.

Szayel came into view a moments later. He was In the process of removing his tie. It was a lilac color rather than pink as Renji had half been expecting since it seemed to be the mans' favorite color.

Renji really hadn't had the chance to take a look a Szayel's costume earlier since his main goal had been to get away from Nnoitra but better late than never.

After a taking in the pointed hat, white button down shirt, lilac and white striped vest, long billowing cape and dark slacks Renji reached the only conclusion that fit the description-even though it was a little farfetched even in his mind.

"So you're a witch or something is that it?"

Amber eyes glittered behind designer frames as Szayel crossed the room and made his way over to the redhead in a matter of seconds and pulled Renji to his feet and into his arms.

The man curled the bright red strands of Renji's fire engine locks around his fingers and issued a response "The correct term is warlock but since its you Ren, you can call me whatever you like."

"Whatever I like hmm? Sounds good to me," a pause "One thing though?"

A smirk pulled at Szayel's lips "Something troubling you mon petit rouge?"

Renji pressed him body more closely to the older male and answered, "No I'm just curious about something."

"Curious? You mean you have a question?"

It was Renji's turn to smirk this time as he purred out "Is that a broomstick in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

FIN?

Nah there's one last part. The third centers more of Rukia and her princess but Renji and Ichigo will make appearances.

**THANKS FOR READING…**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: If I owned BLEACH I never would have cut Rukia's hair. I adore you Kubo-sensei but seriously what were ya thinking?

A/N Right then right so its not October but this series needed to be finished.

_Why Go Bobbin for Apples When You Can Go Bobbin for berries, pineapples and ravens…?_

Ichigo had his time to shine…Renji played his part and now last but certainly notleast…the wild raven-ness her self-Rukia!

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, loose plot, randomness, flashbacks, not always in order, GrimmIchi, SzaRen, RenRuki, RukiHIme, others…

3)

_**Hallow Tease**_

Rukia used to love Halloween. In fact it used to be her favorite holiday…

_**()()**_

_**Up before sun rise hustling and bustling about the kitchens, carving pumpkins, frosting cakes and pies and cookies, hanging ornaments in every nook and cranny of the house or (mansion) while she hummed along to the old record playing through the speakers. Humming yes because the raven couldn't carry a tune to save her life.**_

_**At a quarter past six Byakuya-nii-sama and Hisana-nee-san would come bouncing down the stairs (well not bouncing since her siblings were far too uptight to actually let loose and have fun-but details-details) pressed and dressed, raising twin threaded brows and then scrunching their regal noses up at their youngest sibling.**_

"_**Honestly Rukia, must you always make such a mess of the kitchen?"**_

"_**And would it kill you to take a bit more pride in your appearance? What will the neighbors think? What will grandfather think-he's coming for afternoon tea you know?"**_

_**Rukia did know. She simply didn't care. **_

"_**Obaa-san said I could enjoy the holiday as much as I want to so long as I return everything into its rightful place, which I will."**_

_**Hisana flipped her hair over her slim shoulder as Byakuya narrowed his silver-amethyst eyes "Well if you must so long as you don't- / "Do what you will but do not-**_

"_**-Embarrass us."**_

"_**Hai, hai no worries run along now you don't want to be late."**_

_**Rukia beamed brightly as she ushered her twin siblings out of the kitchen.**_

_**()()**_

_**At a quarter to 7 Rukia grabbed her hat, scarf, gloves and jacket and raced out the front door and headed for the train station to meet her friends.**_

_**Instead of going straight to school (like good little girls and boys) the group would make a quick little (not-so-little) detour to the next town over in order to pick out and reserve their costumes for Halloween. **_

_**()()**_

**Yes Rukia used to love Halloween…key word is _used_ to…til her boyfriend broke her heart.**

_**()**_

"_You can't ignore me forever Rukia, we have to talk about this!" _

_Talking to Renji was the furthest thing from Rukia's mind. If she were to open the door now the tattooed redhead would wind up in a hospital bed-yes she was that damn angry._

_Not because her boyfriend (now ex) had cheated on her (Rukia's been expecting it for a while that Renji's feelings towards her had changed)-not that it didn't sting for it did but what really boiled the raven's blood was the fact that the red head had lied to her about it._

_Rukia had one rule and Renji had broken it._

"_Go away Renji I don't want to see you right now (possibly for a full year)"_

_Maybe she should talk to Ichigo about this._

_()()_

_Rukia had grown up in a family of 12 with 11 brothers and 1 sister so when it came to nudity she was more or less unfazed. Walking in on her orange berry friend just as he stepped out of the shower with a very thin towel on didn't faze her in the least. _

_A slight smirk tugged at her lips as she took in Ichigo's appearance. "You really should put something on those bruises Ichigo, people might get the wrong idea and think you're boyfriend is abusing you."_

_The berry blushed several shades of crimson and screamed "WHAT THE HELL RUKIA HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF KNOCKING?!"_

_Rukia did not bother to hide her amusement as she took her time to shamelessly look her friend up and down. "I did knock-twice when I heard no response I just figured I'd let myself in. Not my fault you were too engrossed in your lover boy to hear it."_

_Ichigo rolled his eyes, grumbled under his breath and then disappeared into the next room. Probably to dress for the day or the afternoon since morning was basically over._

_Rukia decided to make herself right at home. She sat down on the couch and flipped through some random magazine left out on the coffee table. 'Awesome Abs in 30 MINS' she read._

_Ichigo wasn't the type of guy to drown his brain in muscle magazines so that could only mean…_

"_**Kuchiki huh? **Shoulda guessed. I thought I heard scratching at the door."_

_Rukia tossed the magazine to the side and shot a scathing glare at the blue pussy cat who had just entered the room. Well he wasn't really a cat and there was nothing pussy-like a bout him-he was just an egotistical ass who happened to be dating Ichigo and while the raven didn't hate the guy she had never been (nor would ever be) all that fond of him._

"_Finished grooming yourself for today Grimm-kitty?"_

_Electric blues flashed in warning. Rukia yawned in boredom. She had no reason to fear this guy. Grimmjow wouldn't harm one hair on her head-not if he wanted to stay in Ichigo's pants._

"_What do you want Kuchiki?"_

_Rukia smiled pleasantly and answered, "I'm here to talk to Ichigo."_

_An eye roll, "Let me guess this is about Abarai ain't it?"_

"_How did y-?"_

_A snort "Not exactly rocket science." Grimmjow sat down in one of the lounge chairs and continued, "You can talk to me Kuchiki, any and all questions you have concerning Abarai I can tell you what you need to know."_

_Rukia could tell by his tone that Grimmjow wasn't lying still…_

"_I'd rather talk to Ichigo."_

_A careless shrug, "Suit yourself."_

"_You two better not be at it again!" Ichigo hollered from the next room over._

_The raven and the pussy cat shared a knowing look. _

_And Rukia laughed. Sometimes her berry friend could be such a mother hen. _

"_We wouldn't dream of it now get your berry butt out here so we can talk!"_

_Grimmjow growled out and narrowed electric blue eyes at Rukia "Hey! That's my line! Stop stealing my lines Kuchiki!"_

_Rukia only laughed harder._

_()()_

_When the berry finally returned to the living room wearing a shirt that was 2 sizes too big for him Rukia shot Grimmjow another look. And Grimmjow grinned and patted his lap._

_Ichigo ignored the obvious invitation (much to Grimmjow's irritation) and joined Rukia on the couch. Tone casual, complete attention focused on his raven friend_

"_What's up?"_

"_Renji lied to me and I don't know what I should do about it."_

_Orange brows furrowed. Not surprisingly Ichigo didn't quite follow along and so Rukia elaborated…_

"_Well the other night when we were sitting down at the dinner table with Nii-sama and Isane, Byakuya-nii-sama crowded in to Renji's space in a very un-Byakuya-ish kind of way and asked Renji point blank when he intended to put a ring on my finger…"_

_()()_

_FLASHBACK_

"_**You have been dating my sister for two and half years now. Next year she is going off to college and I expect you to make an honest woman out of her before that happens."**_

_**()()**_

"_Or something like that. You know how Nii-sama is-he always has this way of talking like a damn history text or something and its kind of hard to follow," Rukia shook her head when her friend merely just raised a brow at her, "Anyway point I'm getting at here is this: Instead of giving Nii-sama an answer Renji just sat there and stuffed his mouth with pie. And then at the end of the night when we were making our way out the door Byakuya-nii-sama caught Renji by the arm and repeated his question."_

"_And?"_

"_And once again Renji did not offer a reply. Hell the only indication that showed he was even listening to Nii-sama was the noticeable twitching of his tattooed brow and the way his left foot did that annoying bounce thing it does when he feels cornered or hounded."_

"_Maybe he was just nervous Byakuya can be kind of intimidating and-_

_Rukia cut Ichigo off with another shake of her head "No. No it wasn't-Nii-sama grew tiered of the silence and turned away in disgust-didn't even so much as tell me good night. He didn't have to though his body language spoke for itself. _

_He was disappointed in me. Disappointed in my decision to love someone whom he felt was clearly undeserving of me. _

_Ichigo flinched as if burned and the scowled. "Why does Byakuya always have to act like such a hard ass? You can't help being attracted to Renji."_

_Rukia sighed and rushed to her beloved brothers' defense, "Nii-sama only wants the best for me. I admit sometimes he passes unfair judgments but in this case…well Renji was a disappointment to me as well and so on our way home in the car I let him have it…!"_

_()()_

_**FLASHBACK**_

"_**What the hell was all that about? How could you embarrass me like that in front of Byakuya-nii-sama?"**_

_**()()**_

_Renji flinched but kept his gaze stubbornly focused on the window-now normally I preferred it this way since I didn't like to be distracted while I was driving but I felt angry and confused and insulted that he refused to even look at me and pulled over to the side of the road, shutting the engine off. This would probably take awhile._

_()()_

_I may be small and petite but I am by no means weak and so I forced Renji to look at me _

_()()_

"_**Tell me honestly do you love me?"**_

_**()()**_

_Renji blinked as though coming out of some sort of dreamy daze or fog or something and then slowly turned to face me._

_And in the moment I felt my heart and stomach drop all at once. I could tell-I could see it in his eyes-his body language. The reason he couldn't-the reason he hadn't-he'd been so distant all night because he didn't-_

_()()_

"_**You don't love me anymore."**_

_**()()**_

"_Voice rising ten octaves higher than normal. You know how he gets when he's protesting against something?"_

_Ichigo nodded._

_And Rukia continued _

_()()_

"_**What? Of course I do! Look if it means that much to you we'll drive to the States and get hitched right now!"**_

_()()_

_I shook my head and felt my voice crack as I screamed out a brokenhearted_

_()()_

"_**Don't lie to me Renji!"**_

_()()_

"_Renji looked desperate and regretful and guilty all at once. And I-I couldn't stand to look at him any longer."_

_Rukia finished her story and hadn't even realized the tears running down her face until Ichigo passed her a box of tissues._

_The raven sniffled and sent her berry friend a small smile "Thanks.'_

_Ichigo pulled Rukia into a tight hug and let her cry. He hadn't known. He was under the impression that Renji had broken up with Rukia before he went ahead and- the berry released a sigh. He couldn't stand to see the sight of his raven friend crying. He didn't know what had gotten into Renji-why his redheaded friend would do something so heartless and out of character-didn't know. _

_Ichigo clenched and unclenched his teeth. How dare Renji do something so-! A moment after the thought made its way into the berrys' mind he shook his head. No something wasn't right. Something didn't add up. _

_There had to be more to it. There had to be a reason why Renji-there had to be. Shit. There had to be a way to make things right. Ichigo didn't want to see either of his friends miserable but he wasn't sure how he was going to fix this. If he could even fix it? Well first things first he had to get the full story. Talk to Renji._

_He was supposed to meet the tattooed redhead at the park and shoot some hoops in an hour but Ichigo couldn't think about something as pointless as sports when Rukia was sitting on the couch with a bleeding heart._

_The berry rested his chin on top of Rukia's silky raven head and glanced over at Grimmjow. Not the least bit surprised to find his boyfriend glowering at the pair of them._

_Cinnamon and coffee brown eyes rolled and Ichigo mouthed, "Don't be such a jealous ass-Rukia is like a sister to me and I've known her forever where as you are just a recent development and- (electric blues flashed and Ichigo back tracked and corrected himself "Okay so maybe you're a lot more than just a recent development but argghhh whatever look I'll make it up to you. I'll let you do whatever you want to do to me later."_

_And just like that the pussy cat's expression changed "You mean it?"_

_Ichigo inwardly groaned knowing he would probably regret his words but- "Yes I mean it. Hell you can even cuff me to the bed and throw away the key for a few hours-_

_Full on lecherous grin "I'll hold you to that."_

_Ichigo ignored the shiver that went up his spine and stayed focused on the matter at hand "Later. Much later right now I need to be here for Rukia because she needs me."_

_And that was that._

_()()_

_Rukia wasn't sure how long she had been crying but after awhile Ichigo stood up and announced _

"_I'm going to talk to Renji. Find out what really happened that made him change and why."_

"_I don't want to see him right now." Silver blues were red and puffy. Rukia knew she did not look even remotely cute let alone pretty right now. She released a sigh of relief when her berry friend hurried to say, "No you don't have to go anywhere Rukia. You can just stay here and relax."_

"_Here?" the raven scrunched up her nose as silver-blues flicked over in Grimmjow's direction "You want me to stay here with **him**?"_

"_Hey! It ain't exactly gonna be a picnic for me either Kuchiki. Figure you can stay here and watch the sappy chick flick Ichigo rented and I'll head down to the gym."_

_Well it wasn't the worst idea Rukia had ever heard but she wasn't really in the mood for romance. "How bout horror instead?"_

_Ichigo frowned not just at her but at his lover as well. And then shook his head "Going off on your own separate ways won't help anything. Instead Grimmjow, you are going to be the good loving boyfriend I know you can be and stay here and keep Rukia company-remind her that she is still as beautiful as she has always been and that their will be plenty of other guys out there wanting/wishing to date her."_

_Rukia didn't think Grimmjow would cave in and agree to Ichigo's suggestion/demand but he did…strangely enough._

_Electric blues flashed. Brown eyes burned. A silent "conversation passed between the two lovers._

"_Fine but I expect to be paid back in full."_

_()()_

_Half way through the movie Rukia decided she wanted something to snack on. She turned to her blue haired companion "You got any popcorn or chocolate around here?"_

_With a snort Grimmjow jumped off the couch and headed for the kitchen. _

_Rukia put the movie on pause and followed a few minutes later._

_The afternoon was just full of surprises as she walked into to find the pussy cat pulling out several mixing bowls, pots and pans and necessary ingredients to make uber delicious desserts._

"_You can bake?"_

_Never in a million years would the raven have pegged Grimmjow to be a Betty Crocker type._

_Grimmjow tied an apron around his waist and shot the raven a look like 'Are you some kind of dumbass' and then half snarled half grumbled out, "I was raised by my mother," a shrug "picked up a few of her recipes along the way-its no big deal."_

_Rukia begged to differ but she kept her comments to herself…well for the most part._

"_And here I thought Ichigo was the domestic housewife."_

_A glare and then a snarling, "You gonna stand around and gawk all day Kuchiki or are you gonna give me a hand?"_

_()()_

**Course there was always a rainbow after a storm…**

"_**TADAIMA!"**_

"_In the kitchen, Hime."_

_The voice was distinctly female, which prompted Rukia to raise a brow "Is there something I should know?"_

_An eye roll followed by, "Could you please stop acting so thick Kuchiki? Seems like that ex-boyfriend of yours rubbed off on you in all the wrong ways."_

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Rukia demanded with her hands on her hips._

_Another eye roll and then, "Its Hime as in my cousin as in the same girl whose sat behind you every day since middle school-as in the punk-rock cheerleading princess who sent you the sneezing plushie 2 winters ago-as in-_

"_Okay, okay I get it. What's she doing here?"_

"_She pays the other half of the rent. We live together." The duh was left unsaid but it didn't have to be said. Rukia wasn't a dumbass she was just…_

"_Well excuse me if I'm a little sensitive or tend to overreact a bit right now-I did just have my heart broken and I'll be **damned **before I let the same thing happened to my best friend."_

_Grimmjow sneered at her "If you are implying what it sounds like you are implying I'm going to cut you off right there-_

_Something strange happened…well stranger…a sort of soft…vulnerable type of look came over the blue haired males rough and sharp features just then-his voice carried a tone that Rukia never imagined she would hear as Grimmjow looked her straight in the eye and said/declared, "Ichigo. Is. The. Only. One. For. Me."_

_And in that moment Rukia's opinion of Grimmjow was altered…to a certain degree. He was still too damn arrogant._

"_Mmmm what is that delightful smell? Alright ready for me or not I'm coming in!"_

_Without further warning the buxom brunette burst into the kitchen, all bright eyes and radiant smile. Even with the tiny rhinestone in her left nostril she looked as flawless as any punk rock princess should look-not that Rukia was looking._

_No really she wasn't. No more so than usual. In fact the raven kind of thought the princess was kind of annoying-the other girl was almost too damn bubbly to be a "rebel punk rocker"- a walking contradiction with her water melon jugs, purple and pink streaked auburn hair, tight leather ensemble, hello kitty anklet and silver kitten heels._

_Rukia sometimes felt like screaming. Just pick one damn style/trend whatever the fuck and just stick to it!_

_The princess waltzed around the island style kitchen and came around to plant a kiss on her cousins' cheek, then she frowned a bit and punched the cat in the arm when she noticed he wasn't alone, "Idiot why didn't you tell me we were having company? I would've blown off work and come home to play houseguest."_

_And when gray eyes swept over Rukia's petite frame the raven couldn't help but feel as though she were violated by the other girl and it sent chills (non-delightful ones) up her spine._

_Grimmjow noticed and chuckled, "Take it down a notch Hime or you'll scare the lil' raven away."_

_The princess looked abashed and stepped out of Rukia's personal bubble, "I'm sorry I didn't-well anyway now that you're here let's make the most of this day yes?"_

_()()_

_Making the most of the day apparently meant making a mess out of the kitchen-forcing Grimmjow to clean up said mess and letting the princess drag her out of the apartment and down the street and into a little diner round the corner._

_Then the princess gave what the raven thought was surely an award-worthy love confession._

_Apparently Orihime or Hime as she preferred to be called, has had a crush on Rukia for quite some time. No crush didn't cover it-the punk rock princess was head over heels for Rukia._

"_Of course I understand if you need a few days to think things over but," a pause and then a soft breathtaking smile, "I think we could be good together and I would really love it if you could accompany me to the Hallow's Tease bash on Friday._

_Right because apparently people celebrated Halloween all week long._

_Rukia nearly choked on her coffee- "Be-beg your pardon? Hallow Tease?"_

_The princess smirked over her cappuccino, "Surely you don't think I'd waste time with a regular old boring Halloween bash do you? There's no fun in that," Gunmetal gray eyes glittered as Hime added, "And I'll finally have a reason to use my feather on you."_

_This time Rukia did choke. And the princess (being ever oh so helpful) leaped across the table with the kind of grace that could rival a ballerina and saved the stunned ravens' life._

_Then proceeded to smash her pearly pink stained lips against the ravens' open mouth._

_It didn't stop there. Oh no. Some how some way Rukia wound up with the princess' head buried underneath her skirt after a pumpkin and vanilla cream pie "accidentally" flew out of a clumsy waitress' hands and into the raven's lap._

_()()_

There was dip in the queen sized bed pulling the raven from her not-so-distant memories.

"You got that far off look in your eyes again, whatcha thinking about Ruki-bunny?"

Rukia released a sigh and made some room on the bed so her very close female companion (she wasn't quite ready to call Hime her girlfriend) could join her.

The raven still hadn't completely gotten over Renji but she was trying.

The princess bounced on the bed wearing nothing more than a black bra, stockings and jack-o-lantern printed panties before curling up next to the raven.

Rukia rested her head in the princess' lap and let the other girl play with her hair.

"It's nothing Hime, just thinking about the past is all."

The princess remained quiet for a few minutes and then resumed petting Rukia's hair. "I know it may not see like it but it will get easier."

Rukia couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Even with out giving details her princess knew. Some how she just knew. But she didn't hold it against the raven.

Something Rukia didn't quite understand. If she was in Hime's shoes she'd be pissed-jealous-both.

"Why do continue to stay with me?"

The hands on her head stilled once more and Rukia sat up so she could look Hime in the eye when the other answered.

A part of her…a very small part was worried about the response. But a moment later she realized how silly it was when the princess reassured her with a charming smile and genuine "Because I love you Ruki-bunny."

"That's the only reason?"

What the hell was she doing? That was a pretty damn good reason. Rukia mentally slapped herself before Hime's giggling reached her ears and she was pulled into a tight hug "No that's not the only reason silly, I also happen to be a very confident gal," here she winked, "true to the Jeager-Oue name even _you _are destined to succumb to my natural charm one day."

Huh? Well when put that way-wait a minute Jeager-Oue-what was up with the hyphen thing? She knew the princess was the pussy cat's cousin but…The raven shook her head. It didn't matter. Not really.

Rukia snorted, "What you really mean to say is you want another taste of my pie."

Hime grinned, "Yes that too."

()()

END

YEP END. QUESTIONS? WHY BOTHER…LET YOUR IMAGINATIONS TAKE U THERE.

THANKS FOR READING.

~SLY~


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